Compassion and Choices for End of Life

There are so many things we put off thinking about, most to our own detriment or that of our loved ones. Lately I've become much more aware of the problems of our most elderly, as I've faced the possibilities of my mother's likely deterioration and death that could be anytime. Or years down the road, even though she's 92.

That side of the family, unlike my father's, is blessed with longevity. Yet, I'm all but certain my great, great-grandfather, who died at 93 in The Great Depression, was not forced to suffer long. Back then, there were few means of torture that we have available today--torture that gets re-framed by the "care" community who profits by keeping people alive more than assisting the suffering to die quickly.

Compassion and Choices, not to be confused with the Hemlock Society, offers information that some might still consider dangerous. I do not.

As a pro-active nurse, I intend to be involved in making decisions to the best of my ability that will circumvent any tactics to prolong suffering, while calling it "life."  That goes for me and each of my loved ones.

And while we're on that topic, my husband and I have also been talking about taking a step most people our age should be thinking about. Yet, few ever get around to:  giving away what we can to our children in the next few years, as a wise step that can help them and also help us in the event we end up like about 80% of Americans do when they manage to live past 85.

I'm talking about what few believe. What NY Times specialty writer in geriatric health care, Jane Gross, has discovered--that the vast majority of us will die "on welfare," as my mother might, years ago, have called what she is now receiving, thanks to the State of Texas and the Veterans Administration. It's what she contributed to as a taxpayer, and what my father earned, unknowingly, when he served in wartime as a young man. Benefits for which I am grateful and so is my mom.

Oh, that she'd followed the advice of an eldercare attorney years ago, however. If she'd done so, I would not have had to go in debt to pay for her care until the benefits all kicked in.

Denial gets us nowhere, folks. Think and plan ahead.


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