Sorrow for Survivors Runs Deeper than the Surface Issues of Southern Baptists

 Thirty-five years ago, the scene in our living room was like a private funeral for our family of four. Not a soul was there to hear us wail, as we leaned on one another for support. Not only had our children lost their sense of identity and their adopted homeland of Malawi, where we'd worked for more than a decade from preparing to go, being appointed by the Foreign Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention, and serving there, bonded with beloved nationals and our Mission Family, with these ties stronger than any we'd ever known on earth. Until 1986, we'd felt a part of the Family. Yet, soon we began to feel more and more like the enemy because Ron and I stood together after stating our grave concerns, as anyone should whenever a group is faced with a sexual predator that had, so far, only had his hand slapped before sending him home for a full medical evaluation. It was as if everyone was buying into Gene Kingsley's "memory problem," thinking surely h

SBC Survivors Retreat “Rising to Walk”

WELCOME to the RETREAT PAGE for Female  Survivors of  Sexual &Spiritual Violence   perpetrated  by so-called "Men of God"   This gathering  near Lawrence, KS, will be  October 14-16, 2022  Led by  the oldest SBC survivors' advocate, author  Dee Ann Miller.  Who the heck is she, you may be asking, as you look at the laughing woman in the photo above? After all, who could possibly be laughing when faced with such a serious topic as sexual violence? Yes, you heard me right. I did say "violence," not "abuse" because I've always insisted that the violation of a soul by sexual means needs to be called "violence". To me, abuse is a minimizing word that I don't ever like to use in these cases.  Of course, there's nothing funny at all about violence. I do prefer to laugh at a lot of the nonsensical thinking and self-incriminating action, though. Same as I do when there's an occasional victory over nonsense, which is exactly why I w

An Open Letter: To All the Laity of Adat Shalom Church (a Southern Baptist congregation in Dallas)

  “Any story sounds true until someone tells the other side and sets the record straight.” (Proverbs 18: 17) For the past three months, I’ve become increasingly aware that my soul cannot rest until I’ve completed this personal message to those who occupy the pews of your congregation. My intent is to set the record straight, going far beyond the parts of your church story which you may have heard already—either from online reports, the lengthy letter from your pastor a few weeks ago, or from hearsay. This letter will serve to tell “the rest of the story,” as Paul Harvey often declared on the radio for many years. Though I’ve never met any of you personally, I've come across hundreds of churches in similar situations as yours is right now . My name is known in certain Southern Baptist circles and far beyond due to the work I’ve done for over thirty years upon discovering the complex issues of collusion with abuse in the faith community -- a widespread, systemic problem I first